Shattered.

That song, that stupid song, that makes me cry every time I hear it. Why would it be? some people say it's because one identyfies himself with it. It must be.. when I read that fic, and cried with Karofsky while I "heard" him sing, I felt his pain, his rage, his FUCKING frustration, and I felt my shattered heart acking, so much.. Sometimes I just believe I feel happy cuz if I don't, I'll kill myself. And why am I hearing it now, I do that, I like to feel worse when I'm blue like a masochistic fool. It's like I enjoy dropping tears. I used to feel my tears were too worthful to cry, now I don't know.. It sounds like an excuse to try and being strong.. But I'm not, I never was. Everything seems so hollow, nothing makes sense. And I'm useless, completely. I need answers, I need to know someone cares about me not to think I have no use in the living world. Sometimes I get so Rachel Berry and imagine if there will be plenty of people in my funeral. I like flowers, I hope they bring several..